![]() But the show's most refreshing arc belongs to Joel (Jeff Hiller), Sam's benevolent gay bestie and drinking buddy, who gets the love story he deserves. Meanwhile, her other sister, Tricia (Mary Catherine Garrison), still reeling from her ex-husband's infidelity, channels her rage into a new line of pillows boasting hysterically lewd slogans (e.g., "Big C-t Energy"). Everett is pitch-perfect as Sam, who, when tasked with singing at her pal Fred's (Murray Hill) wedding, begins taking lessons from her old voice teacher and finds herself confronting her past. While the series remains a low-stakes, irreverent study of life's minutiae, its second installment gave each of its key characters more depth and more of a chance to shine. And the one after that.Nestled in HBO's recent Sunday lineup, right after the high-octane hits Succession and Barry, was this quiet little gem about a middle-aged woman (Bridget Everett) grappling with her sister's death in rural Kansas. I didn't buy one myself, but I did stick around to see the next item. She read out the names of people as their orders were completed. She spoke eloquently of its "labradorescence", which is an actual thing – I looked it up. "I want you to be able to add this to your collection!" said the presenter, beaming and holding up a labradorite ring. At first it made no sense – why would you buy something if the price was going to keep getting lower? But it turns out everyone gets the item at the lowest price the only fear being exploited is shortage. When I finished watching I turned over for a look at the real Gems TV, which was in the middle of something called a "falling price auction". Actually, I'm starting to think that tempting people to part with their hard-earned money in exchange for shiny things is an admirably straightforward business model. Everyone seems to love their work, and loyal viewers appear to be under the impression they are members of some kind of collectors' club, rather than gullible suckers. Steve's son-in-law tries to impress upon the auditionees the company ethos: "Present like you're selling to your mum, produce like you're selling to your nan." I'm not entirely sure what the last bit means, but I found myself utterly charmed by the Gems TV family. Another is enthusiastic but a bit off-message: "I know Cleopatra, who loved amethyst, would be grabbin' at these." One prospect has selling experience, but bad hands for close-ups: they shake when he's nervous, and his nails are in a dreadful state. New presenters are easier to come by, but hard to train. Then he sets about turning its colour into a virtue, instructing his presenters to invoke sunsets, and launching tulelei as if he were offering viewers a unique opportunity to own the next tanzanite. Undaunted, Steve picks a new name – tulelei, a Masai word. His solution is a new and plentiful mineral called spessartite, but this gemstone comes with problems of its own: it's bright orange and it has a stupid name. ![]() It's Gems TV's biggest seller, but Tanzania's miners can't find any more. The latter is a blue gemstone from – you guessed it – Tanzania. ![]() At times it's like watching a highly-charged geology lesson.Īway from the cameras, Steve has two main problems: he's running out of both presenters and tanzanite. He buys his gemstones directly from the mines, and his presenters are schooled in their history and their structure. Steve has been clever enough to recognise that an attachment to jewellery, even cheap jewellery, is an emotional one. It's a business with a £100m a year turnover they ship 10,000 parcels a day. Edina once sold 1,000 diamond rings in an hour, although the channel mostly specialises in pushing jewellery containing gems I'm unfamiliar with – spinel, tourmaline, sphene, labradorite – at knockdown prices. If giddy amateurism appears to be the prevailing tone, the presenters are also very good at what they do. "I always say, if people aren't watching, they can't buy," said Steve. Most of all, they smile and talk – endlessly, relentlessly, like DJs who never get to take a call or play a song – in an attempt to keep you glued. They corpse, they squeal, they shout, they drop things, they trip over the set. Steve's future son-in-law runs the American operation son Matt is the one who has to stand in front of the cameras for all of Christmas Day and most of Boxing Day, because the other 38 presenters are off.Īh, the presenters. There are nine or 10, or perhaps 11 (Steve isn't sure), Bennett relations working at the company. Gems TV is a family business run by Steve and Sarah Bennett out of a light industrial shed in Birmingham.
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